just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
