ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Say something about gay babies.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize