Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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