You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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