Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
