I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
