Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
