Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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