What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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