I bet he comes in French.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
