hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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