I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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