Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
