I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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