how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
