when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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