I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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