I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
