took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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