Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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