idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
