New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
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It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
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Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage