I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?