the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex