opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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