did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
