Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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