Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
