You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
A bitchslap is in order.
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