you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize