I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Drunk is a universal language darling
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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