Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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