i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
