Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
