Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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