she was so not down for the gang bang
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
