Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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