he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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