we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
