my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Randomize
