There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize