you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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