eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
