two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
