She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
