"it" just moved
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
