It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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