Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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