Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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