im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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