Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
