I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
