I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My bed smells like the plague
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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