Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
