laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
