I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Dick very happy bro
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
