I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
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i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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