This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
