Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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