there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
