She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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