I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
