I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
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