It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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