So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
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