Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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