take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
