It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
