We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
